A real classic

First of all I have to tell you that the mis-sayings of La Duchessa are real. They actually happen.
The other night she came out with a stupendous offering.
We were watching Above Suspicion, The Red Dahlia, a Lynda la Plante cops and baddies (sometimes it’s difficult to tell them apart!). It was a very watchable drama, but a bit gory.
Anyway there was a part in the story when it was discovered that all this particular family desported themselves at a naughty - nudge, nudge, wink, wink – party where they were wearing, what in the trade is called, sadomasochistic gear (please don’t ask how I know as I will not divulge a thing).
La D turned to me and said, wait for it, ‘I really don’t see why they like to dress up in all that SMS stuff.’
I almost couldn’t stay in the room. I was fit to burst.
‘Darling, I think you mean S&M stuff. SMS means Short Message Service that you use on mobile ‘phones to send a text message’
‘Oh yes. Silly me,’ she said, and then we both dissolved in a fit of the giggles. Fantastic.

Chicken wings

One of the Three Degrees has a genetic malfunction. I think she must have seen Chicken Run. She is a serial escaper. No matter what we seem to do to pen them in, this one always finds ways to get over the fences. We want them to come out now and again but not all the time as they do a lot of scratching around and they make quite a mess of the ground particular now at this time of year.
La D and I had a discussion and agreed. The scissors had to come out. But before we started slashing at the hen’s wings, we thought it prudent to find out exactly what we had to do. As usual we turned to the Internet and found an excellent video on YouTube that showed precisely what we had to do to clip the chickens’ wings. You only clip one wing as that unbalances them when trying to launch themselves so they don’t bother. That’s the theory.
We thought we would do all the hens and gave them all a treat.
It was fairly easy task. I held the bird whilst La D did the deed. The hens were very calm and seemed completely unaffected. There is no feeling in the feathers so it’s a bit like cutting hair.
Very satisfied with our work we repaired to the house for a coffee. About 10 minutes later, La D happened to look out of the window.
‘L’uomo chi fa, that little bitch is out again!’ she exclaimed. After coffee we went out and this time picked up the rogue chick and trimmed her wing a little bit more.
Yes, that’s right, we found her outside the pen again later that day.
I think we are going to cut her wings off completely …………… only joking, but I think we are going to trim her other wing.
Will keep you informed.

Christmas gifts

Just a quickie on this. Last Wednesday we received a Christmas present from my eldest boy that was posted on 16th December. Terrible. I have thanked him and I hope he got our present to him.
But, hold on. On Friday we received a present from one of La D’s brothers that had been posted on 8th December!!
I don’t think we are expecting anymore present s from last year. I did ask my youngest son on Christmas Day where was my present, to which his answer was in a rather questioning voice ‘Er, it’s in the post?’ He didn’t really expect me to believe him. Children. Don’t you just love them? Best keep your answer to yourself.

Weather?

Oh yes. Quite a bit. White and cold, and we are off the hospital this afternoon for a regular eye-test for my diabetical condition. Oh joy.

Ciao, mantenere la fede