Exclusive – Local Experts Baffled

Some strange objects have been seen appearing, albeit briefly, in the sky above central Italy. Local experts are completely baffled by this phenomenon.
UFOs have been ruled out because the objects look too wispy and no small green men have been seen looking out of them. So too has some kind of military operations as all flyovers and manoeuvres are suspended in the summer months.
A local newcomer did suggest that they might be some form of a thing called a “cloud”. When this was voiced however, some people just looked at him in disbelief. Others just looked wistfully at him whilst shaking their heads with a small smile on their faces.
National phenomenon experts are being called in to help with identification.
Have you seen them where you are? Perhaps they are more common in the northern climes. If you have and you know what they are called – just keep it to yourself. Thanks.

Piggies in the orchard

La Duchessa and I were sitting outside last night after the sun had been down for about an hour, our candles flickering romantically, even the citronella ones that I have to have lit. I seem to be a sort of MacDonalds for biting flying insects. They also flock to me whilst leaving La Duchessa well alone – no further comment on this. Yes it was very romantic even allowing for the heavy scent of lemon.
Anyway, we had had a lovely light Italian salad and were just sitting listening to some pleasant background music, Christian Death/Thrash metal or was it Rammstein with some Industrial Rock? I can’t really remember, but I think I had closed my eyes just settling in to a lovely relaxing moment when I heard some crunching and grunting noises from way down the garden. I looked up and noticed that La Duchessa wasn’t in her chair. My immediate thoughts were that we hadn’t had enough to eat and she had just popped down the garden for a few apples or pears. Then I realised that neither the apples nor the pears were ripe enough and she wouldn’t have gone there anyway she would certainly have aroused me from my reveries and despatched her L’uomo qui fa to get them. After all, as she is keen on quoting, “Why have a dog and bark yourself?” I am never sure what this means, but I do know that we did have dogs and I’m sure that neither of us used to bark, even when it was a full moon. Maybe she just misses them, I know I do.
However, I got up out of my chair and la Duchessa, said “Quick, come over here”, she was only down at the edge of the patio, well OK rubble. I saw her and made my way over. “Listen” she said. Sure enough there were more grunting, crunching and movement through plants noises. It was the pigs. No. not the carabinieri, real ones. They call them cinghiale here and they are hunted reasonably often.
Now we have heard them before. One night a couple of years ago, my youngest son heard them at about midnight. We went outside and there was a field of maize opposite the house and you could see the whole field in the beautifully moonlit night. We could see the tops of the corn swaying about as they made tracks through it. Think of the film Signs and you get a good picture of what the scene looked like.
We have also seen the damage they do as they root around the trees looking for dropped fruit, apples, pears and olives. But we have still to see one. From pictures they look quite nice, but I believe they can be a bit anti-social. They are not the sort of aperitifs and canapé type animals, more on the Taz front (remember Taz the Tasmanian Devil cartoon?)
We did wonder whether they were in our bit of land, but when we inspected this morning we couldn’t see where they had been. I think they were farther away than we thought. Although they did sound close. Just suppose they were far away? In that case they might look like this.

Help.

Relly Invasion.

More rellies on the way this week and then for the next three weeks. We have a little break and it starts up again.
Will keep you up to date.

Ciao, mantenere la fede