Cooking fats!

That’s not quite what I said, but move a couple of letters around and you get the exact exclamation.

It was La D’s turn to see to the zoo yesterday morning. I was just snuggling down in a lovely somnolence with pictures floating through my mind as I raced round Rascasse for the last time, just in front of the chasing pack on my final lap of Monaco, ready to take the chequered flag, when …….

“Out of bed, out of bed. Just you come and see this, L’uomo chi fa!.” La D bellowed in my ear.  

I went to pull the covers over my head, I was only meters from the finish line and I so much wanted to win, when they were suddenly whisked away from my reach.

“Oh no you don’t. I want you out of bed now.” She got hold of one my arms and yanked me off the bed – she’s a powerful woman, La D .. ooooh, luvverly. Anyway. I was then frog marched to the back door and pushed outside.

“La D! La D!,” I exclaimed. “I’m buck naked!”

“I’ve never heard you called that before. I thought you were called L’uomo chi fa.”

“Oh yes. Very funny, not. It’s quarter to seven in the morning, I haven’t got a stitch of clothing on and you’ve forced me outside. Why?”

 “Look. Look. You silly man,” La D said and pointed to a basket that she had left out for the adult cats to cuddle up in now all the kittens had gone. I knew it was a bad idea leaving some receptacle out that a cat can get into.

There, nestling in a corner were three more bloody kittens.

“Where the hell did they come from?” I asked no-one in particular.

“I think they must be Mum’s,” la D said. Mum has been living around here for as long as we have. She always gets pregnant twice a year, but we have never seen any kittens of hers. This year was no different and we have seen her bulging, twice.  About four weeks ago she suddenly became thinner, so she must have had her litter somewhere. We did hear some small mewing coming from our neighbour’s gardens, but that was a few weeks ago and haven’t heard anything else since. Since she is feeding them, we can only conclude that they are indeed hers. But why bring them round to us? Maybe she sensed that the kittens we have just re-housed were OK here, and as they have now gone, perhaps we would like some more. I think Mum may only half a brain cell.

You can tell we are not best pleased, but what can we do?

La D has already broadcast the event via the Internet, with pictures, and we are hoping we can get shot of them soon.

Here is a picture of them, and, pulease, no “Ahhs, aren’t they sweet,” otherwise I think I’ll throw up.

Any other news

No! Too cross and grumpy. I mustn't take it out on the rellies though. Oh, bollocks, why not!

Ciao, mantenere la fede