Hunters

The hunters are out again. Lots of bangs and barking dogs. Although the bangs and the barks seem to be less that last year. We commented on this with some friends and they confirmed that this was their thoughts too. They have had some near misses with Italian cacciatore (hunters) in the past and are therefore quite conscious of the apparent lessening of hunting activity.

What was it Oscar Wilde was quoted as saying about those who hunted foxes:

“The unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable”

Bit different here though with local wild boar being a sought after meat. It is very nice I must say.

Plans, plans, plans

We arranged for a geometra (sort of a house-engineer come designer, come pretty much-everything-else-to-do-with-houses-apart-from-building-them chappie or chappess)  to come round and have a look and a chat about what we would ideally like to end up doing to Casa Grotta.

Very nice bloke. Suffered from a stroke last year, but he can’t be more than mid-forties. Speaks fluent English which of course is fantastic for us.

So we are having some plans drawn up. The next step would be seek planning permission from the comune with the following step being actually to do something. Gulp. The permissions cover things like extending the size of the property (which we aren’t) and change of use of rooms (which we are as we have a very long earth floored room that was used to keep livestock on the ground floor. As we do not intend to continue that tradition we want to have the room as living space. We have to get permission to do that. Odd I know, but that is what you have to do)

You might well ask, “How are you going to pay for all this?” A very good question. Our thinking runs along the lines that if we have a proper, drawn-up plan (which won’t be very expensive at all and is essential to doing anything), and we have the correct permissions from the comune (again which we believe won’t be very expensive), then we will be in a position to start just as soon as we are able to fund some work.

I hasten to add that there is no time limit being put to this.

I am working on a couple of income-generating schemes, such as forging grand masters  (unfortunately I am a lousy painter, especially in oils)  nobbling race horses (I know nothing about horses) and last but not least, major frored and embesselement (difficult to have success with spelling this bad).

Should any of you know of anything that I might turn my hand too with a modicum of success, please do let me know. The more legal the better.

Good Blooper.

Using the word embezzlement just now reminds me a great La D blooper.

We were talking about someone who had really told a very exaggerated tale about his goings on and La D remarked that he had really embezzled his story! I did say to her that I thought the word she meant was embroidered, but she convinced me that embroidered was only a form of needle therapy. I have the puncture marks to prove it!!

La D’s mum

Some change. Still in hospital. Will report later

Ciao, mantenere la fede

Family problems cont’d ….

Poor La D’s mum has not improved much, if at all, since she went into hospital a month ago. The family is, as you would expect, rallying round as best they can to support her and their dad.

La D has been trying to get the hospital to “speak with one voice" as there have been numerous times when one nurse says one thing and the next nurse completely contradicts the first one. It is so frustrating for La D and the rest of the family.

However, La D is doing her famous Freya, Queen of The Valkyries, impression and leading the family into battle. Heads will roll, and not all the way to Valhalla either. She’s guiding the charge from 1200 miles away against obfuscation and lack of progress on her mum’s behalf. She can’t do any more. We’re rooting for you ma.

A disgusting sight

We popped over for coffee yesterday to our friends who took two of the kittens back in September. They also have a pup like Bertie-dog called Lola, and of course this was the real reason we went (no, not really).

You have to drive up a pretty old dirt road before you reach their drive. Just as were about 50 metres from the drive entrance, at the side of the road there was a fully grown Bertie-dog eating a full size sheep. Honestly. The sheep had most of its ribs showing and the dog was pulling bits out of the sheep’s stomach. The dog’s front was covered in blood. It really was disgusting.

We told our friends what we had seen, and they told us that apparently the farmers give the dogs a sheep that has died as food for them. It really is totally weird. Here is a breed of dog whose sole purpose in life is to guard sheep with their life, which is what they do. Then if one of their charges dies, they eat it. It’s almost seems like a form of cannibalism.

Anyway. Lola. What a cutie she is. Not shy at all. Very playful. Very good at sitting and lying down (Bertie doesn’t do lying down!) but not brilliant at coming back yet. She had had all her jabs and stuff so we are going to introduce her to Bertie soon.

Both La D and myself were taken with her coat. It’s still fluffy and she has, what you could say of a human first thing in the morning, “bed hair”.

This morning I unearthed a picture of Bertie taken when he was four months and it’s quite extraordinary. He looked so much like Lola looks now. I probably put this on the blog at the beginning of last year, but here it is again.

Gardening matters

It certainly does. No, what I mean is things to do with the garden. We are getting it ready for the Winter now and putting to bed most of the orti. We have planted some peas, broad beans and last week-end, onions. But we are doing lots of tidying up. Hopefully there will be a bonfire or two with the old vegetation.

The olives are looking good. Most of them are nice and plump and we should be picking around mid-November all being well.

Weather

Up and down. We have been having our coffee breaks and lunch outside apart form the last two days. When the clouds aren’t there, it’s gloriously warm in an Autumnal way if you get my drift. But at nights the heating is needed, as well as the fire in the kitchen. Very pleasant indeed.

Ciao, mantenere la fede

“Cats! What are they good for? Absolutely nothing. Say it again”

(With a nod to Edwin Starr for his song, “War! What is it good for ……….”)

La D was preparing a salad for us the other day and she went to get the salad spinner that we have. You know the sort of thing. It has a plastic basket into which you put lettuce, wash it and put into a slightly larger container. You then put on a special lid, spin the basket and it throws off the water and dirt from the lettuce.

She brought it from the pantry and into the kitchen and lifted the lid. There was then a piercing shriek from La D as a small furry rodent jumped out of the spinner and scurried across the top towards the sink.

“Oh my God. Oh my God. It’s a mouse!” she exclaimed. Now, I hadn’t actually seen the event but when La D uses her vocal chords at this pitch and intensity, it is a foolish person who doesn’t respond within a nano second to her cries.

“Where did it go?” I asked.

“I don’t bloody know and I don’t care. Just get rid of it. NOW!” I was ordered as La D went into the living room and shut the door hastily.

At this time we had the two kittens we were looking after for their new owners. As they had been kept inside, we thought we should do the same for the two weeks we were having them. They were in the kitchen with me so I had strength on side to capture the little sod who had had the effrontery to extract me from my reverie of whatever I was doing at the time I received La D’s summons.

I finally saw it under the cooker. On my hands and knees I used a long pasta rolling pin to try and push it out. It worked. The mouse shot out and tried to get under the back door. At this point one of the cats saw and jumped at it. He managed to grab it but too loosely and the mouse scrabbled away. However, it seemed to me, it dawned on the kitten that this was the sort of thing it was put on this earth to do. Get rid of mice. He dashed after it and this time got a good hold. The mouse had been captured.

“It’s OK La D. Marlon has caught it.” I shouted through the door. Perhaps I should explain about Marlon’s owners naming convention. They have a dog called Brando. They wanted a cat, a male cat, so they could call it Marlon. With me so far?

When they saw the kittens they fell in love with another one so took two of them. The little female they took was to be called Sophia. After a little while, they knew we had had some more kittens and asked if they could have a third one. Mad, I know.

Guess what they were going to call it? Yep, Loren. You just don’t mess with other peoples’ naming conventions, especially if they relieve you of unwanted kittens, no matter how bizarre you may think them.

Anyway, back to the story. Marlon had this mouse firmly in his mouth with the mouse’s tail hanging down. The mouse was no longer. It had passed, as they say. I managed to put my foot on the tail and gradually moved my foot neared Marlon’s mouth so in the end he had to relinquish his catch. I was able to put a container over the mouse, and no, it wasn’t the salad spinner, put some card underneath and take the wretched little rodent and chuck it over the hedge. A little undignified I appreciate but I didn’t see anybody clamouring for a proper funeral.

La D came out of the sitting room, fairly cautiously I should add. We both gave Marlon a lot of attention as he definitely deserved it.

Now the point about the title of this tale is that we regularly feed 5 to 6 cats and not one of them had prevented our house from being invaded by vermin! So what is the use of having the blighters?

Ciao, mantenere la fede

Family problems

Unfortunately La D’s mum had a fall a little while ago and broke her hip. She has had a new ball and socket fitted, so that is good. The problem is really with her pre-existing medical condition, it is making it hard for her to have a quick recovery, physio and stuff.

La D went over a couple of days ago to give her dad some support and to try and help move her mum’s rehab on a bit.

I just hope she doesn’t make the national news for threatening and then machine-gunning some very sweet but totally hopeless clinicians. Some of the stuff that they been saying is quite unbelievable. They are supposed to be trained to “nurse” people and get them up and running, not just commiserating, albeit very nicely, with relatives. Life can be pretty s*** sometimes.

Then there were none

The last kitten went to his new home yesterday. We called the little fellah Gizmo, after one of the gremlins in the film of the same name. All the other kittens had very erect ears on the side of the top of their heads. Little Giz’s ears were lower down and tended to stick out more than up. But what a character he is. Although he does have very poor table manners. He “talks” as he eats. Really strange but amusing. Here are a couple of photos taken at the week-end. I am sure he will enjoy his new home, with two more of our ex kittens and also a Maremma like Bert. More of the same for him really.

Weather

Pretty grooby actually. Gorillas in the Mist job at the moment. Hopefully picking up the week-end. Dogs don’t like it either as I’m not going out in this. They have a big enough garden to run around in if they really want.

Birthday Boy                      

Had our first video call (Skype) with number 4 son, Ed, on his 20^th birthday last Saturday. It was brilliant. He is looking very well. He was able to show us round his room in the halls of residence at Leeds. It was about 2 in the afternoon and I asked what the weather was like. He reached over his laptop and pulled open the curtains!!!!!

“Not too bad,” he announced.

“Just got up.”

Ahhhhh, the youth of today.

He then proceeded to get dressed in his costume for partaking in the Otley Road Run. It was a giant babygro that he had bought from Primark for £7.50! He looked absolutely daft in it. He was obviously determined to have a good laugh. The Otley Road Run is in fact just an old fashioned pub crawl, down a road called Otley Road. Apparently there are 20 pubs along it and the object is, … need I explain more. I do hope his Sunday morning headache and biliousness wasn’t too bad!! I will have to look at Facebook to get some photographic evidence of the night’s proceedings.

Ciao, mantenere la fede

Casa Grotta New Year!

Yes, it’s that time again. La D and I embark on our fourth year at Casa Grotta. A little wiser, a little poorer, a little older but …… we’re still here and I am still in my shorts. La D refuses to got out with me at the moment because people keep staring at this strange Inglese in his shorts whilst they are dressed in coats, hat, scarves and boots.

The weather is actually glorious. We are still eating out in the morning and lunch times. Wonderful.

I will try and be a bit better at regular reporting from this idyllic corner of central Italy.

Relly Season officially closed

Last month we had my big sis and her husband over. Had a most enjoyable time. A great walk in the Sibillinis, some market days and general chill out time. Much needed by my sister as her son and his family are emigrating to New Zealand and she is going to find it difficult whilst she gets used to their absence. Of course they are planning to visit as soon as possible, but it’s not particularly cheap and she hates flying. She has problems with her balance. In fact she confided to me that she has difficulty walking across Norwich market, which is on a slope, with out feeling a little woozey. I tried to suppress a smirk when thinking of a few seconds crossing an English market compared to a 12000 mile journey to the other side of the world.

Cats are gone ….. hopefully

We think we have found homes for the latest batch of gattini. It’s been a bit like a menagerie here over the last couple of weeks. We have had our friend’s dogs to stay whilst they went back to the UK. Also we have had to look after a couple of the kittens we re-homed because their owners had to go to the UK too. Then we have the three new ones. Agghhhhhh.

I only signed up for a dog, Bertie. He has been brilliant. He seems to love all the animals. Let’s just hope he doesn’t want to develop a meaningful relationship with the cinghiale.

Electricity

Whilst all this animal looking after was going on, we had a major problem with the house electrics ……. we suddenly didn’t have any.

I managed to rig up wires and adaptors all over the house, as a temporary measure until we were able to get an electrician out. What a great bloke. He and his assistant managed to locate the problem and partial rewire the house in three hours. I suppose it is one of the benefits of having wiring not channelled into the walls. The old wiring was desperate. We were without “proper” electricity for 5 days. It was a testing time, but La D and myself came through it stronger than before. I have a few bruises to prove it!!!!!!!

Chickens

We still have three chickens, which is a positive, but eggs are slow to appear. We are having one a day and an occasionally another one, but we are nowhere near to having three a day. All a bit worrying.

Autumn

Ahhhh. I can almost smell the smoke, but La D has hidden the lighters. Bugger.

Still, lots to do in the garden without expiring before 10:00!

Ciao, mantenere la fede

Cooking fats!

That’s not quite what I said, but move a couple of letters around and you get the exact exclamation.

It was La D’s turn to see to the zoo yesterday morning. I was just snuggling down in a lovely somnolence with pictures floating through my mind as I raced round Rascasse for the last time, just in front of the chasing pack on my final lap of Monaco, ready to take the chequered flag, when …….

“Out of bed, out of bed. Just you come and see this, L’uomo chi fa!.” La D bellowed in my ear.  

I went to pull the covers over my head, I was only meters from the finish line and I so much wanted to win, when they were suddenly whisked away from my reach.

“Oh no you don’t. I want you out of bed now.” She got hold of one my arms and yanked me off the bed – she’s a powerful woman, La D .. ooooh, luvverly. Anyway. I was then frog marched to the back door and pushed outside.

“La D! La D!,” I exclaimed. “I’m buck naked!”

“I’ve never heard you called that before. I thought you were called L’uomo chi fa.”

“Oh yes. Very funny, not. It’s quarter to seven in the morning, I haven’t got a stitch of clothing on and you’ve forced me outside. Why?”

 “Look. Look. You silly man,” La D said and pointed to a basket that she had left out for the adult cats to cuddle up in now all the kittens had gone. I knew it was a bad idea leaving some receptacle out that a cat can get into.

There, nestling in a corner were three more bloody kittens.

“Where the hell did they come from?” I asked no-one in particular.

“I think they must be Mum’s,” la D said. Mum has been living around here for as long as we have. She always gets pregnant twice a year, but we have never seen any kittens of hers. This year was no different and we have seen her bulging, twice.  About four weeks ago she suddenly became thinner, so she must have had her litter somewhere. We did hear some small mewing coming from our neighbour’s gardens, but that was a few weeks ago and haven’t heard anything else since. Since she is feeding them, we can only conclude that they are indeed hers. But why bring them round to us? Maybe she sensed that the kittens we have just re-housed were OK here, and as they have now gone, perhaps we would like some more. I think Mum may only half a brain cell.

You can tell we are not best pleased, but what can we do?

La D has already broadcast the event via the Internet, with pictures, and we are hoping we can get shot of them soon.

Here is a picture of them, and, pulease, no “Ahhs, aren’t they sweet,” otherwise I think I’ll throw up.

Any other news

No! Too cross and grumpy. I mustn't take it out on the rellies though. Oh, bollocks, why not!

Ciao, mantenere la fede

I can’t believe it was the 4^th August that I last broadcast some brief news items from the dizzy world of Casa Grotta.

After my second to last son visited with his girlfriend Meg, we had a bit of a break before the out-laws arrived. It was great to see Pip again and to meet Meg properly. We had a lovely relaxed time and a couple of good evenings out. Their time with us was over far too quickly, but never mind. We look forward to seeing them over here again when they can manage it.

So, what about the chickens you ask. Well. The last lot we got, the Three Weird Sisters really did turn out to quite odd. One of them started to loose her feathers at the bottom of her back. As a consequence the other two started to peck her. It was quite unsettling to watch. Anyway, she pegged out quite soon after we got them. So that was a good start. That left two. After about a week, one them suddenly went off her feet. It was though she had had a stroke or something. She’d no balance and had real difficulty moving around. The other one, sensing a weakness, started to peck at her. It’s obviously something hard-wired into them. After about a week, ten days, she was on her back with her legs in the air, and not in the rumpy-pumpy sense either.  We were reduced to one. If the bloody fox doesn’t get them disease and pestilence seems to have a go. Are we cut out to have chickens?

La D and I had a good chinwag about it and decided to leave her on her own for a few days before we re-stocked, for the last time (?)

We bought another little brown hen and a little black one. This lot has now been called Tir-Na-Nog – the Celtic version of the Greek Elysium – so we are hoping they will stay young for quite a bit and be very happy and lay lots of eggs. We have two layers at the moment, the oldest one Tir and Na the young brown one. Nog seems a little unsure of the egg laying business but I’m confident that three a day will happen soon.

More Kittens

Yes, two of last year’s kittens gave birth. One had three and the other had one. As before they seemed quite happy to share mothers when it came to feeding time, so they have got off to a good start. What is even better is that through friends and Facebook, we have managed to home all four of them. What is really strange about it is that the people that have gone to both have dogs like Bertie! That is quite serendipitous. As the kits are so used to sharing their space and growing up with a big white dog, it’s not a shock to them. However, one the dogs is the same age as they are. We went to see her – Lola – and her proud owners yesterday to drop off their kittens. Lola is just adorable. Eight weeks of fluff. Her coat looks exactly like a lambs. All curly. We all think she must be pure breed, as she came from the sheep farmer next door who has about four adult Maremmas.

There were other litters of \kittens in the neighbourhood, but we don’t know what happened to them. We still haven’t heard from the comune about sterilising the cats. I am not that surprised though.

Opera

I really wanted to enthuse about our wedding anniversary treat but I can’t really. In the afternoon it p***ed it down but we were assured of a dry night. Ahem. We did our, by now, usual “passeggiata” round Macerata and bought a CD of the opera – I Lombardi della Prima Crociata (The Lombardys of the First Crusade) by Verdi. Found the fab pizza restaurant we had gone to two years ago and had a superb pizza and bottle of wine. Then we made our way to the arena, umbrella in hand, extra clothes in rucksack. What we noticed first was that how many of the audience were wearing Winter clothes. I was in shorts – well it was August and I’m English as someone remarked to me today in the shops as it happens. He said I couldn’t be mistaken for an Italian as I was wearing what only foreigners would wear in weather we are having today. That’s bye-the-bye.

So we huddled down, raided the rucksack and clambered into the few extra layers we had brought with us. The show started. To say it was a minimalist set would be like saying the Pope is a Catholic, a real no-brainer. It was just like a choral piece, but of course with more passion in the songs and a bit of moving about. The only set was a cross that they out up and put down. Wow! The set designer was definitely overpaid on this one.  

The music was fabulous, it really was. But as a spectacle, well, it left us feeling even colder than we were. At half time, I hate to admit to you, we called it a night and went back home, with the heater in the car at full blast  and Verdi blasting out of the CD player. Excellent.

Hordes of family descend

LA D’s sister, the Contessa and her family came over at the same time as the out-laws. La C and her entourage were staying a very lovely Agriturismo not far from us whilst ma and da were staying with us. We had a great time. La C and her brood were only staying a week but the out-laws stayed for what seemed like years but was really only 16 days. The weather was v hot. Sometimes too much and we had to retreat indoors to find somewhere that was less that 35° in the shade. Phew.

We have my sister and her husband arriving very soon. They have been given a list as long as your arm, as they are driving over so they have plenty of room. Ha, ha.

General outlook on growing matters

Very good. The toms seem never ending. We are making tomato sauce, which I have to say, is something quite special, tomato jam, which is extremely moreish, frozen tomatoes, tomato soup. We are even looking into trying to make tomato aeroplanes, musical instruments, children’s shoes from the skins and even little people as this photograph of an early prototype clearly shows.

Oh, yes, we are very inventive here at Casa Grotta.

Ciao, mantenere la fede